My Brother's Insane Story
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: A craptacula series of oneshots by my brother. Has songfics, Yuki being eaten by a gorilla, poems, random stories... it's all good. You will laugh. [[NOTE: Good stuff starts at chapter five. LATEST: Meet the Sohma's, A Poem]]
1. The Start of Insanity

**A/N:**

**Written by my brother, Kakuri-nii-chan. He's only seven. Please, don't tease him.**

**Disclaimer: Me and my brother don't own Fruits Basket. If we did, there would be lots of crossovers, explosions, partial nudity, gay sex and no woman. Do you think we own it? **

Once, YuGiOh saw Inuyasha. He didn't like Inuyasha though, so he blew up his master deck. Inuyasha cried.

Then another time, Yuki saw a gorilla. It ate him. Then Kyo came along and laughed, because the gorilla was his friend. Yuki cried.

Then YuGiOh and Kagome came along and saw Kyo laughing, so they threw a stick at him. He cried. Then, Inuyasha ran away with Kagura, who happened to be standing there at the time.

Then Shippo saw a gorilla with a Yuki voice.

"Help" He said, "I am being eaten. Maybe I will get sticky"

But Shippo just laughed and blew up Yuki's master deck.

Then, Shigure did a dance and got drunk.

Yuki then lived and blew up the world.

Which came back again.

**A/N:**

**He re wrote chapter one because I told him I didn't save it.**

**He re wrote it all, actually.**

**Review for a cookie?**


	2. Later on in the week

**A/N:**

**Dun dun dun…**

Later on in the week, Kyo decided to go for a walk. He enjoyed walking, because it ment he didn't have to put up with Tohru and have to punch her annoying mouth in.

Yuki and Shigure decided to go for a friendly stroll with Kagura that day. They saw Inuyasha and Sessy. Sessy bought them all icecream, as it was his shout.

But then Inuyasha came along and blew up everyone's master decks because they didn't invite him. Which is when they all cried.

Suddenly, Number Two and One burst in the door.

"There is a problem. The world is being taken over by… corn!"

Everyone gasped in a loud fashion, before Shigure was sent to eat all the corn. He ate it all and then he was fat. Everyone laughed and he cried.

Then, he blew up Kagura's master deck she got from YuGiOh for her 7th birthday, for no reason.

It was decided that Shigure join Jenny Craig, but he got rejected. Jenny Craig said,

"You are too fat, Shigure Sohma!"

Then he cried a lake, which was from then on known as the Pacific Ocean.

**A/N:**

**-coughs-**

**Review?**


	3. Sometime Friday afternoon

**A/N:**

**Finally updated! God!**

**UPDATES FRIDAY.**

Sometime Friday afternoon, Yuki got killed then bought back to life. This surprised him to the bone, because he was scared. He cried.

Kagome got hit by a truck, too. She cried as well.

"This is useless" Mentioned Kyo to Tohru. Tohru agreed.

"I agree" She agreed.

Yuki later informed everyone that YuGiOh bought him back to life. But no one cared. So he cried some more, like a sooky little mouse kiddy thing.

Kagura did a little dance as well. Why?

She was joyful, because Kyo threw a sausage at her. She liked them.

But Haru didn't. Because he is a cow.

Then, the world had a party.

**A/N:**

**Ummm…**


	4. So the next day

**A/N: **

**My brother has lost interest in this story. Don't ask me why. **

**Maybe because people think this story isn't acceptable for him. **

**I dunno why, really. So tell him goodbye and good luck for his life. **

**So cute. (He's 7)… **

So the next day, Kyo decided to die. No one knew why. He just did.

"I'm going to die now!" He said, flailing his arms around like the moronic bovine he is. "Bye!"

"NOOOOO!" Screeched Tohru, because she's a baka neko, "DON'T DIE KYO MY LOVE!"

But Kyo had already jumped off the edge of the roof, gasp!

Haha, you forgot Kyo is a cat!

He landed on his feet and lived happily ever after.

But then, Number 3,749,392 from KND came over to ruin everyone's day.

"I am a bumblebee." He said with no expression at all because he is a date hole. "I am also a date hole"

"What's a date hole?" Shiggy asked because he is also a date face.

"It's what Kakuri-nee calls people!"

"…"

Shiggy was to stupid to understand so he got pushed down a cliff that was conveniently in the vicinity.

"What's a vicinity?"

"SHUT UP KAKURI-NEE! You're supposed to know what it is!"

"What is it, Dukoro-nee?"

"…(runs away to her Kyo)"

See? She made me put that in!

All of a sudden, Yuki and damned my sister for being a baka neko. But then Kyo cried because baka neko is his name. He copywrited the words!

"I did!" He said very happily, that night, six days after the happenings.

Shippo then came along unawares and blew up the world trade center. Kyo knows that, because he watched the news. But only on the September 11th. No other day.

"It's true!" He said to the wall. The wall nodded. "If you zoom in, it's Shippo on the roof of the trade center, laughing hysterically with 50 babes"

Then Shippo blew up Kyo's left, middle toe for being a moronic bovine baka neko.

"CRY!" Tohru said, and everyone did.

"Why?" Asked moronic Yuki "Why should I?"

"BECAUSE!" Tohru cried, "END OF SERIES!"

Then, to go out with a… tear, Kyo jumped off the roof, Shiggy was already dead, Tohru cried and Yuki ate some rat poison because rats aren't accepted at my sister's school.

**A/N:**

**It's true. There are signs everywhere at my school that says "Say NO to rats!". **

**I was gonna write "Yuki" over the word "rats" with a permanent marker.**

**Then a teacher walked past.**

_Kakuri's Note:_

_hi ther thagks 4 reedin. _

_and reveewin._

_mayb I will do my utha storee 2._

_bi bi_


	5. We're Back!

**A/N:**

**Doode! It's an update of the weirdest of kinds!**

**Yeah. I saw my brother for the first time in ages yesterday.**

**I told him how you guys liked his other stories and how you all love his sweet, little, yet corrupted soul.**

**So he wrote you another chapter.**

**BE JOYOUS, DAMMIT!**

**NOTE! Bits in **_italics _**are things we said during the making of this chapter.**

Hiro took a big 'ol swig of his rum bottle. Today he felt like being a pirate.

"Yarr!" He hollered. Tohru wasn't impressed.

"No!" Tohru threw a sandwich at him. Kyo looked up from whatever he happened to be doing.

"That was mine." He said. "Damn you."

So Tohru went off to make a new one.

Inuyasha stopped by as well.

"Hello." He said to Yuki and Shigure. "BUTT SEX."

_-_

"_You date hole! Why must you holler butt sex!"_

_Dukoro rolled her eyes and pointed to Haru._

"_THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT."_

_-_

Kyo coughed up his milk as Yuki walked into the room.

"You idiot!" He yelled like a cheeseburger with no pickle. "I didn't know you were a girl!"

Yuki looked at Kyo and shrugged.

"BUTT SEX."

_-_

"_Sister, stop saying that!"_

_Dukoro looked at her younger brother with anguish._

"_Who's writing this damn story for her horrible little descendent?"_

_Kakuri pondered. "You're not my mummy."_

_-_

Homer Simpson walked across the alleyway that divides Japan and America. He sighed in angst.

"Why oh why did Japan have to ban the donut!"

Rin gagged on the spit she was currently collecting in her big, fat gob.

"You say doughnut all Australian like!" She yelled at the poor, yet grossly overweight man. "Damn!"

Homer then cried a river.

"Why do people cry so much?" Momiji asked out of the blue. This might be because he fell from the sky.

"1 DUN N000! 1 1S T3H G0D!eleven!11!" Akito replied like a gangstah. Momiji died.

Later on, Shigure stuck his head down a doo-doo hole. Yuki asked why.

"Why?" Yuki asked.

"Because you always say my mind is in the toilet." Shigure said with a mouthful of poo, wee and toilet water. Well, he is a dog, right?

At this point, an ass fell from the sky and squished Kenny dead.

"OMG j00 k1LL3D k3Nny! j00 b4st4rD!" Kyle hollered.

"BRING IT ON, KID!" Hiro yelled. "Being a meanie is my job!"

The sun beamed in from inside of the window. R3N screamed.

"No!" R3N screamed. "Sun kills me, for I am a witch!"

R3N then died.

"I thought witches didn't like water." Kyo questioned. Tohru nodded. Yuki looked up from his boiling cold miso soup.

"Does that make you a witch, you stupid, good for nothing, lazy, smelly, fat and ugly cat?"

Then, without anyone really noticing, a big, girly hand reached up from under the ground and murdered Yuki good.

_-_

"_Sister… was there a need for that?"_

"_Yes, Kakuri. Yes there definitely was."_

_-_

Suddenly, a corn got pooped out. It grew and grew, until it became a normal piece of corn again.

Tragic, but true.

This caused Shigure to die.

"Steve Irwin died!" Tohru said sadly. "I'm so sad!"

As the sun set, Kyo wandered upon the roof.

"And so we leave you with our final thought." Kyo smiled, seeing as Dukoro's brother was currently on the toilet, which means nothing.

"Who will find salvation in this horrid world of ours? Will Shigure ever find a way out of the doo-doo hole? Will Akito ever stop acting like a gangstah? And hoe many people have to die, come back to life again and then die once more before the population is a bunch of brain eating zombies? Who knows, in this world of ours."

The toilet flushed in the distance.

**A/N:**

**Yeah. Me and my brother are like the… TROUBLESOME DUO!**

**Yeah… it does sound better as trio, but there isn't another person.**


	6. Grillz

**A/N:**

**Today's topic follows a conversation we had while watching a fat, African man sing a rapping song and showing the world his big, ugly, Grillz.**

Hiro hobbled down the sidewalk and into a dentist.

"I need teeth." He told the man.

The man was actually Akito, because everyone knows Akito is a cross dresser.

"It's too late." Akito proclaimed. "You need GRILLZ!"

In the mean time, Kyo and Yuki both fell off a cliff and plunged to their deaths.

Tohru cried so much, she made an ocean and drowned their already dead bodies.

"NOOOO!" Hiro yelled. "I don't want Grillz!"

"Too bad, date hole!" Akito hollered, before jamming a hunk of gold in his mouth.

Suddenly, Hiro became a fat, African gangsta.

"Yo. Whaddup mah home dawg. Show me dah Grillz. Throw me da shorties."

Ritsu happened to be walking past.

"Hello. I am a producer. I want you to sing for me a song."

So Hiro went with Ritsu to write a song.

Hatori ate a sausage and choked.

Ren ate her gold ring.

"What's wrong with the world!" Shigure hollered, before also magically dying from a cliff.

"Let's call you Charmillionare." Ritsu told Hiro.

"Okay." Hiro said.

So he produced a lame ass song called Ridin'.

What a loser.

While all this was happening, Haru was picking his right nostril and eating it like a gorrila.

"Oo oo, ah ah ah!" Haru hollered angrily, before becoming King Kong.

"I steal sexy girl!" Haru yelled in monkey talk. He reached for Tohru.

"Tohru ugly!" He concluded in ape talk.

Then he fell from a building and died.

"T'was beauty that killed the beast." Said Jack Black from around the corner.

Haru (King Kong) fell on him and killed him.

The world was a better place without him.

**A/N: **

**Uh… what can I say? **

**Hehe.**


	7. 69 is the Sexiest Number

**A/N:**

**ATTENTION EVERYONE!**

**As thanks for 69 reviews, we wrote this chapter.**

**I think you'll find it humorous. **

_69 is the Sexiest Number._

Doctor Phil came for a visit.

"My Mum died!" Tohru said sadly, before making sovlaki for everyone. Doctor Phil left.

Kyo coughed up his lung at gave it to Akito.

"Happy belated birthday, bitch!" He yelled at her before skipping down the road.

Meanwhile! Hatori died in a car accident.

"Sir! Can we use your lung in a transplant!"

But Hatori was already dead. Everyone soon forgot about him anyway.

Kyo got given Hatori's lung.

So then Chi from Chobits come up and she goes. "CHI."

She then became God of the Sohma family.

"Does anyone actually know what Chi said?" Edward Elric asked, because he can't be told to go back to his story because he doesn't have one.

"Nope." Kureno laughed. "But she's a robot!"

"AND IN THE FUTURE ROBOTS WILL RULE THE WORLD WITH THEIR SMASHING AND POUNDING AND SHIRTS MADE OF NYLON!" Yelled Professor Frink from the Simpsons. Bart agreed.

Shigure climbed into bed only to find a baby next to him.

"Hello baby." He said to her, winking. The baby puked on his stomach.

Akito wrote a ballad for Kyo.

"I looooove you! You're better than ice-cream!"

Then my sister killed Akito because she loves Kyo more than some God obsessed whore bag.

Akito then mysteriously died along with Yuki. Again.

"Picking off pimples in so much fun when you use a tooth pick." Tohru told Momiji. He remembered then that 69 was the sexiest number.

"LET US RAPE." He told everyone.

"Okay." Said everyone.

Then no one was a virgin.

**A/N:**

**(giggles)**

**I love the last line.**

**Classic. **


	8. Black and White People Eater

**A/N: **

**Blehhh. **

**Brother was being lazy and produced this. **

_ Black and White People Eater. _

Once Haru had finished becoming King Kong (As seen in chapter five), he decided to change his career choice to something more suited and paying.

"I," he said. "Am going," He pointed to the door. "To become a cannibal." He concluded, eating Tohru.

No one really cared.

"RAWR" He rawred.

A woman down the road hollered.

"zOMG THE APOCOLYPSE WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NO NO NO NO DEATH IS UPON US WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE YUKI IS A GIRLY BOY IT'S THE BLACK AND WHITE PEOPLE EATER WOOT NO!"

Somewhere in the midst of all that stupidity, someone DID actually hear the warning of Haru and his sudden becoming of the Black and White People Eater.

"Oh noes." Tohru's ghost sighed whilst sitting on cloud 8 /12 with her mother. "Now everyone is going to get eaten."

"Oh well." Kyoko said, as Tohru's tears made rain. "Your rain will piss Kyo off."

And that it did.

"DAMMIT TOHRU, STOP PISSING ON ME!" Kyo yelled at the sky. Nothing happened.

Suddenly, Haru came out of nowhere.

"Ah!"

He became eaten. And not in the sexual way, either.

Everyone became so sad that Kyo had died that they all wanted Haru to eat them so they could be with his rotting remains for ever and ever.

But that's just stupid.

"RAWR!" Rawred my sister. "I AM GOING TO ROT WITH KYO."

And so she did.

At least, the sky was blue again!

Yuki stopped angsting, Shigure lost weight and Momiji did a dance.

Haru then ate Shigure and Hatori. But no one really cared.

**A/N: **

**Uh… yeah.**


	9. Two Chapters in One

**A/N:**

**Okay. So, I was telling my brother about how I accidentally finished Tohru Poop Brains and didn't even realise it...**

**So he wrote this.**

**((P.S - Tohru Poop Brains will finish on chapter 21 instead of chapter 20.))**

_Finishing Things by Accident._

Once, Yu-Gi-Oh had a pie.

He was eating it and eating it.

"Hey, Yu-Gi-Oh!" said Hiro. "Where did your pie go?"

"Oh noes! Someone stole mah pie!" Yu-Gi-Oh cried into a bucket.

So Hiro and Yu-Gi-Oh decided to go on a hunt for the pie.

On the way, they saw Shiggy.

"Shiggy, did you eat my pie?" Yu-Gi-Oh asked Kyo and Yuki's cousin.

"YABBA DABBA DOOOO!" Shiggy tribal danced to his death.

"That didn't help." Hiro muttered. "Let's ask someone else."

So they asked Kyo, because he is all knowing with his brightly coloured hair.

"Have you seen my pie?" Yu-Gi-Oh asked.

"Dude, you like... ate it. I'm sorry to inform you." Kyo bowed.

Hiro was so mad with Yu-Gi-Oh for tricking him into feeling bad and being THIS CLOSE to buying another pie for him, that he punched him right in the cubes.

"the cubes" is what my sister calls a willy sack.

"I don't have a willy sack!" Yuki sang. And then he got married to a tree.

In the end, you shouldn't finish things and not realise it.

Because it makes you (and others) look stupid.

**Wait, wait, wait. **

**ON TO THE REAL STORY!**

_My Sister's Stupid Glasses.  
_

A few weeks ago, my sister got some stupid glasses.

She danced and danced until her legs were sore.

But they didn't stop being stupider.

"Haha," Kyo laughed at her. "Your glasses suck."

"THEY ONLY SUCK YOUR BIG, JUICY COCK, MUTHAFUCKER!"

Hatori then threw my sis in jail because that isn't appropriate language to use when I'm around.

"Never, EVER let your sister be gangsta again." pleaded Kisa, after being very traumatized.

"I won't." I said, because I am the coolest.

Anyway.

So after my sister went to jail, Ben from Billy Talent came and took her glasses and started singing silent night for the rest of his life.

"Silent night!"

Just like that, see?

But he sounded weird, so someone shot him and my sister cried.

In the end, the stupid glasses ended up being put on Akito.

Ren punched her in the face and all the glass went in her eye.

The end.

**A/N:**

**Oh yeah.**

**Two chapters in one.**

**Except... the first one was the original chapter... but we thought it sounded gay and we did another one.**


	10. Golden Songfic

**A/N:**

**Alright. I informed Kakuri-chan that I was writing stories again... so he flew to the scene, and I helped him write this.  
****It's based on the song "Golden" by Fall Out Boy...  
****It's also about Kyo...  
****So dance on his behalf!**

**IT'S MY BROTHERS FIRST SONGFIC!**

**He did so well with this, I am extremely proud of him and I hope you guys are too.**

_"How cruel is the golden rule?"_

It's strange, you know? No one ever wants to talk to me.  
It's like a rule of the Sohma's.

_"When the lives we lived are only golden-plated."_

They think they're so much better than I am.  
And it's probably true.  
I mean, look at me.  
I'm a monster.

_"And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,  
And though I carry karats for everyone to see."_

Sitting on this cold, hard roof, now.  
I only see the lights.  
The stars.  
Like eyes, staring at me.  
Haunting me.

_"And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies."_

I have too many enemies.  
Everyone these days is against me.  
What did I ever do to them?  
What did they ever do to me?

_"And all the lovers with no time for me."_

Who could ever love a monster like me, anyway?  
No one ever shoots me a second glance.  
I'm like a horrible disease.  
Everyone avoids me.

_"And all of the mothers raised their babies to stay away from me."_

Not even my own mother loved me.  
Does Master even love me?  
Parents tell their kids to stay away from me.  
I'm the Cat, after all.

_"Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams."_

I can never sleep at night.  
My dreams are haunted by fantasies.  
Bubbles of a paradise that will never exist.

_"Where the sewerage of youth drown the spark of my teens."_

I hate to age.  
I never want to become an adult, because I know the trauma that waits behind adult-ness.

_"And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,  
And though I carry karats for everyone to see."_

I'll never marry.  
Not like the previous Cat.  
He only married out of pity.  
How cruel.

_"And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies."_

Akito is no help.  
Some "God" she is.  
Just to see her cry would brighten any day of mine.

_"And all the lovers with no time for me."_

Tohru.  
Tohru.  
How could I lose her?  
To that damn Yuki.  
How?

_"And all of the mothers raised their babies to stay away from me."_

And so now, I lay here with this knife in my hands.  
I feel for the parents of the next Sohma child born.  
He'll bare my curse.

_"And pray he won't grow up to be me."_

**A/N:**

**(sniff)**

**I cannot believe the awesome job he did.  
It brings tears to my eyes, I swear.  
Like sister, like brother.**


	11. Kill Pop

**A/N:**

**hey people of im riting the story by myself.**

**i hope its ok for u.**

**this chapter is about my sis njd billie joe.**

**nd also haru sohma.**

**nd "kill pop".**

once, ther was a girl called steph.

she loved a boy called billie, but he was much older than her.

so she cried.

"waaaah" she cried. haru sohma conforted her.

"do u feel better now?" he asked, because he was worrid that she wasnt okay.

"im not okaaaaay!" gerarld way yelled, becoz mcr r on the new "kill pop" album. my sis said so.

but since no one asked gerarld, they killed him.

"nooo" yelled kagums becoz she secrely wanted many babys with him.

"i know my times tables" i suddenly burst in and said, becoz my sister always inserts people into the story who exist.

"raAAWWR" HARU WENT BLACK AND ATTAKED A LADY FOR HER MONEY.

"GIVE ME UR MONEY" HE YELLED LIKE GERARLD FROM MCR WHO IS ON THE NEW "KILL POP" ALBUM.

woops sorry 4 caps, but i dont wanna backspaze soz lol.

(NEVER FEAR! Dukoro-chan is here!)

"I'll never hand over my ruby emerald!" Kyo hollered at the top of his lungs, because he secretly not only loved Kagums but wanted to impress her by getting on next years "Kill Pop" album.

"IT'S NOT OVERRRR!" Daughtry screeched angstily, as he also wanted to get on the next "Kill Pop" album.

"What is it with everyone and "Kill Pop" today? Has the world gone MAD?" Ritsu un-apologised for once in his monkey life-time.

"Basically," My sister stood from where she was sitting and strode across the SILKEN STAIR CASE OF DOOMED LOVE!

... soz my sis took over the computer while i was peeing. anyway, so what happened was...

"basically," my sis said, "kill pop is ment to be the most awesome thing eva."

but then she rememered billie from green day and nothin was as awesome as him.

not even gerarld way.

"GASP! GERARLD WAY IS CERTAINLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOME IMPOTENT THIRTY-FIVE YEAR OLD WHO SNIFFS GASOLINE!" bellowed kagums. most people from around the wolrd could hear it.

nd so she won the prize to be on the next "kill pop" album.

huzzah.

**A/N:**

**WELL!**

**That was rather odd.**

**Never fear, friends.**

**My brother is no longer allowed to type. I for-bayed him!**

**HUZZAH: D**


	12. Spiderpig Is The Unhated Spiderman

**A/N:**

**Okay, so... I saw my brother again today.**

**This chapter is called, "Spiderpig Is The Unhated Spiderman".**

"I think we should go see a movie," Shigure chuckled. His friends and family agreed.

"The Simpsons Movie!" They shouted. I mean, who _doesn't_ want to go and see the Simpsons movie? YOU!?

"Yes." Inuyasha argued, but he's always arguing, so Kagome told him to sit and that was it.

"Impotency!" Kakuri-chan shouted, because he learnt that word today.

"Spiderpig... Spiderpig... does whatever a Spiderpig does..." Homer sang and then made a hit album.

"This is great!" Commented Uo. "I want to be Spiderpig!"

Soon, Spiderman was hated and Spiderpig was the new, un-hated Spiderman.

It went like this.

Spiderman: (hated)

Spiderpig: (unhated)

"Magical! Truly magical!" Decided Shigure. "Maybe we could go to the pool now?"

"You say that only to look at girls!" Yuki yelled at him and threw a collar and leash.

It was true.

**A/N:**

**This chapter was pretty... sane.**

**But, whatever.**


	13. Drop It Like It's Cold

**A/N: **

**My brother was all like, "Let's write a chapter where they only say one thing."**

**And I said, "What?"**

**And he said, "Drop it like... it's cold."**

**The official name for this chapter WAS:**

**"Kureno's Chicken Flavoured Frozen Off Finger Lickin' Good Sticks"**

**But it didn't fit, so we shortened it to, "Drop It Like It's Cold".**

It was cold.

Yeah, it was so cold, it froze Kureno's fingers off.

No one was surprised, though.

They tried to warn him.

Hatori had said, "Drop it, like!", because he's a little bit of a high-school prep and he says 'like' at the end of every sentence.

Akito had said, "It's cold!"

And together, with their powers combined, inforced the "Drop it, like, it's cold!" rule.

Kureno didn't listen, though, and had to suffer the humiliation of the KFC run.

"Drop it," the man at the counter told him. His fingers were about to be turned into KFC Crispy Strips (tm).

"Like-!!" Kureno tried to argue, but he failed, because he was cut short when the counter-man yelled.

"It's cold!" In fact, Kureno's fingers were so cold, counter-man couldn't touch them. So, he grabbed a paper bag.

"Drop it!" Gasp! Two armed robbers flocked into the store.

"Like-!!" Kureno tried to argue once again, but it seems he is too boring to fight is way into conversation.

"This is getting old, can I go home yet?" The two armed robbers shot counter-man, because he uttered forbidden words!

"Drop it like it's cold! Drop it like it's cold!" Kureno ordered two buckets of his own fried fingers and took them back to Sohma Estate in shame.

"Drop it... d-drop..." he angsted.

"LIKE IT'S COLD!" everyone chimed in, because Tohru forgot to close the God damn door.

**A/N:**

**That was suprisingly difficult for us to manage.**

**O.o**


	14. Meet the Sohma's, A Poem

**A/N:**

**Today, I told my brother that next month brings an end Fruits Basket.**

**I mean, it's been over a while, but the English release of the final manga comes out late November.**

**And so, he wrote this poem.**

_Meet The Sohma's, A Poem_

Kyo, Tohru, Shigure and Yuki have gone through a lot together,

They've gone to hell and back together.

They hang out and party, what ever the weather,

They're always happy as long as they have each other.

Whether it be in the sand or the snow,

Tohru always finds a way to stub her toe.

Yuki always seems to get stuck in a rut,

That might be because he's a rat.

Kyo tries to stay out of the surf,

He'd rather relax upon the turf (AKA, grass).

(He'd much rather to kick stupid Yuki's ass).

Shigure always pervs on the sexy girls,

Too bad some of them are actually men wearing fake pearls.

But don't think they're the only cursed;

There's many more (we're not sure which; is that for better or worse...)

You've got Haru and Hiro and Hatori too,

Ayame and Akito and that's about it, because no one else's names start with A...

Kisa, Kagura, Ritsu and Rin,

They all grab their things and come join in!

You've got Kureno and Uo and Kazuma and Hana,

Except Uo and Hana aren't Sohma's and Kazuma is allergic to banana. (Hana told us)

Last but not least, we can't forget Momiji and Ren,

Sometimes I wonder if she has a pet hen (that'd be Kureno, I suppose)

So know you know the Sohma's and the fun they go through,

Too bad it's over, we've read it all through!

So now, I leave you with this final thought,

Think of all the things we've been taught,

By Yuki and Kyo, the other Sohma's too,

And we can't forget sweet, old Tohru!

They've shown us the way so many times before,

Give them a standing ovation and give them applause!

As the final chapter comes to and end,

Let's say goodbye to our cherished new friends.

**A/N:**

**It's my new favourite poem.**

**Love it?**


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